U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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