when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize