Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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