I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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