yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just forgot I was standing up.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
