A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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