If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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