Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
