Your mouth is God's brothel.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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