I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
