did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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