Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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