Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest. http://tfl.nu/ndz5
  Replies (52) Good night (16077) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best. http://tfl.nu/ew7r
  Replies (17) Good night (4063) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes http://tfl.nu/p6zo
  Replies (28) Good night (1218) Bad night (5033)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk. http://tfl.nu/xfwn
  Replies (8) Good night (674) Bad night (5470)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around http://tfl.nu/awow
  Replies (9) Good night (3541) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time.. http://tfl.nu/k00f
  Replies (8) Good night (5662) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on http://tfl.nu/a8g3
  Replies (9) Good night (3226) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face http://tfl.nu/qofd
  Replies (9) Good night (1973) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday. http://tfl.nu/4in5
  Replies (6) Good night (685) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital.. http://tfl.nu/5pzt
  Replies (5) Good night (2183) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/ar70
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling. http://tfl.nu/0c6k
  Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast. http://tfl.nu/uskm
  Replies (5) Good night (483) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome http://tfl.nu/5x53
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/3qrj
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (217)

Randomize