Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow

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(248): I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow http://tfl.nu/a3vb

Replies (2) Good night (1318) Bad night (554)
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(817): View more from Texas

they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life

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(817): they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life http://tfl.nu/g989

Replies (8) Good night (3421) Bad night (946)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....

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(586): Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child.... http://tfl.nu/unbg

Replies (23) Good night (1086) Bad night (4291)
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(310): View more from California

So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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(310): So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes http://tfl.nu/3hm9

Replies (50) Good night (9238) Bad night (1366)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.

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(605): This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired. http://tfl.nu/sykd

Replies (1) Good night (2571) Bad night (869)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.

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(267): I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions. http://tfl.nu/avse

Replies (7) Good night (1445) Bad night (990)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Sunday is the day of rest.

(857): View more from Massachusetts

As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

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(857): Sunday is the day of rest. (857): As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest. http://tfl.nu/lma5

Replies (3) Good night (2254) Bad night (651)
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(815): View more from Illinois

after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.

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(815): after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even. http://tfl.nu/ebz9

Replies (9) Good night (1492) Bad night (555)
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(616): View more from Michigan

You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.

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(616): You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today. http://tfl.nu/z6l8

Replies (2) Good night (857) Bad night (384)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?

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(662): Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you? http://tfl.nu/ngi1

Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (377)
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(650): View more from California

Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S

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(650): Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S http://tfl.nu/kv3h

Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (441)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.

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(808): In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it. http://tfl.nu/3ucc

Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (420)
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(440): View more from Ohio

i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?

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(440): i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was? http://tfl.nu/87x6

Replies (2) Good night (671) Bad night (203)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.

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(843): If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick. http://tfl.nu/pvhu

Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (190)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..

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(920): All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot.. http://tfl.nu/vftt

Replies (4) Good night (255) Bad night (545)

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