Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere.. http://tfl.nu/8h2a
  Replies (13) Good night (729) Bad night (1437)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket? http://tfl.nu/lptb
  Replies (48) Good night (1704) Bad night (7328)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven. http://tfl.nu/24p0
  Replies (42) Good night (9997) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises. http://tfl.nu/vxkf
  Replies (33) Good night (2252) Bad night (5109)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again. http://tfl.nu/gudi
  Replies (16) Good night (2724) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall. http://tfl.nu/z0q7
  Replies (9) Good night (4310) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution http://tfl.nu/2lwu
  Replies (6) Good night (3122) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant. http://tfl.nu/0cvw
  Replies (50) Good night (5655) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using. http://tfl.nu/4is0
  Replies (6) Good night (1224) Bad night (3131)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight? http://tfl.nu/h4cr
  Replies (8) Good night (1527) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro http://tfl.nu/hanl
  Replies (11) Good night (1648) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point. http://tfl.nu/sxoa
  Replies (8) Good night (416) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well for starters, her tits were hairy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Well for starters, her tits were hairy. http://tfl.nu/wo8e
  Replies (27) Good night (486) Bad night (3227)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me. http://tfl.nu/5d5j
  Replies (3) Good night (2028) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!" http://tfl.nu/knx8
  Replies (5) Good night (301) Bad night (472)

Randomize