Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome