Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.

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  (902): I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out. http://tfl.nu/3h1q
  Replies (13) Good night (1120) Bad night (3303)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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  (703): He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet. http://tfl.nu/muj7
  Replies (28) Good night (791) Bad night (6248)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...

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  (713): You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong... http://tfl.nu/oapp
  Replies (30) Good night (4471) Bad night (709)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.

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  (440): he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went. http://tfl.nu/izjf
  Replies (37) Good night (1367) Bad night (5896)
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  (310): View more from California

  i fucked a milf yesterday.

  (619): View more from California

  i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.

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  (310): i fucked a milf yesterday. (619): i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old. http://tfl.nu/l3df
  Replies (28) Good night (13777) Bad night (2031)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.

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  (978): bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/o1ww
  Replies (11) Good night (5886) Bad night (1069)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.

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  (519): Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club. http://tfl.nu/af62
  Replies (5) Good night (3148) Bad night (1356)
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  (626): View more from California

  How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.

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  (626): How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans. http://tfl.nu/e33l
  Replies (12) Good night (2729) Bad night (1184)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

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  (954): I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter. http://tfl.nu/57tz
  Replies (10) Good night (1455) Bad night (3743)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.

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  (+44): She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me. http://tfl.nu/nryr
  Replies (6) Good night (2135) Bad night (1095)
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  (818): View more from California

  It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.

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  (818): It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care. http://tfl.nu/qr5p
  Replies (9) Good night (1137) Bad night (1554)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after

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  (403): His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after http://tfl.nu/sq85
  Replies (5) Good night (366) Bad night (823)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small

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  (512): He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small http://tfl.nu/qooh
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (329)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit

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  (614): And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit http://tfl.nu/5i17
  Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (339)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour

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  (847): There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour http://tfl.nu/ries
  Replies (0) Good night (687) Bad night (271)

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