elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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