no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
