My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
