Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
