You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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