he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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