He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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