i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
