well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So. Much. Porn.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
