i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
