You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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