do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
