yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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