my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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