I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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