Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
