Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
