"it" just moved
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
