at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
