i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
