Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
