Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
