i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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