She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
YAS. BRING CRAB.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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