Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
