Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
