Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
