if i can run in heels then i can drive
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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