You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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