She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
