Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i permit you to call me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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