No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
