Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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