you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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