UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
