He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't deserve a penis
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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