don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
