Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
