Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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