Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This is my gift to your gina
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
