I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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